Starting Point

Thank you for stopping by, and Welcome.

My name is Audrey.

I’m a survivor.

But this is not a journey meant to focus on sorrow and pain.

While my past was saturated by it, the mission of this blog is to draw out the purpose in it,ย make sense of it, facilitate the healing process, dig up the past and find the missing pieces

And in the end,

Break the Chain

The abuse, the torment, the pain ends HERE, NOW, with ME!

I survived, and it’s not without a purpose!

A little bit about Me

I am a single mom in my early 30’s. I have a little boy, who is my world.

I have so many aspirations that I refuse to pick just one. I have always been a performing artist.

I remember being in diapers, running around the living room, hair brush in my hand as a make-shift microphone (tangled hair fluttering in every direction from the teeth of that poor ugly thing) ย and screaming at the top of my high-pitched lungs to Barry Manilow records.

No, not tapes, Records.

And, Oh did I sound Uh-MAZ-ING!!!!

The next Huggies X-Factor for sure, I was way ahead of my time. *sigh* Good times.

Anyway, I’m also a dancer. Or I was, before I started getting sick. (I discuss all that in my blog) My major in College was dance, and I took pretty much every style of dance you can think of.

A funny story, (This would be the Leo in me) some guy I dated tried to tell me that I couldn’t take up Figure Skating when I was 17. Something about “A woman’s place is in the home…” blah, blah, blah….

Well, that ended that debate. I was on the ice the next week, if for no other reason, but to shove his stupid words right where the sun don’t shine!!!

I discovered that I actually really liked figure skating though. In fact, I was kinda good at it too. It became my whole life. I loved it! Three months later, I had very close friends, a support system at the rink, and I was at competing level! (I’d like to take this moment to publicly thank that jerk-face for two shiny gold medals and a silver medal that I probably wouldn’t have gotten if it hadn’t been for his STUPID JERK-FACE COMMENT!!!!)

I’m a singer, and have recorded several songs in the studio with a member of the old 80’s rock band Steely Dan.

When I put my mind and soul to something, most anything in life, I seem to have success.

My problem has always been the tremendous conflicts I have faced. Things aren’t always as they look from the outside. The “Happy Faces” people wear, shouldn’t always be trusted. In fact, the “Happiest” ones should probably draw suspicion. But most of the time, they don’t.

Come with me as I share with you some of the lessons I have learned, the experiences I have had, and the mysteries I still have to unravel.

***

I am a very creative person through art, dance, music, etc. So in some of my blogs, I will use some of these to express myself. If you see a box at the bottom of a post, with a link to a song, please make sure and listen to it. I carefully hand pick the music and all materials that go into each post.

I appreciate all comments you may have, and please, feel free to tell your friends to stop by as well.

***

Disclaimer: This blog discusses very sensitive topics intended for a mature audience. Some of these things can be triggering. Please read responsibly.

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17 thoughts on “Starting Point

  1. Thank you so much for taking the time to check out my little spot here. As you know, the experience of a traumatic event is much different than telling it after the fact. I hope to convey a taste of what it feels like to become a victim, in the way I tell my own story. I’m also very grateful we found each other on here, and can continue to offer support.
    Hugs ๐Ÿ™‚

    Like

    • Thank you for the nomination! That’s so awesome of you!! I really appreciate you thinking of my little spot here.
      I apologize for the delay in getting back to you as I’m going through some chaotic changes personally that has kept me away from blogging :(. But The juices are flowing and I have some good stuff ready to come out so… ๐Ÿ™‚

      I’m so glad I could be of some help and thanks again for thinking of me. I’ll poke my head in soon to say hi.

      Like

  2. hi there – I noticed one of your replies on one of the sites. I would just like to pick up on a point you made about ‘paranoia’ – well I think this only occurs where there are lots of lies, deception and smear campaigns. My life experience – although I was unaware of my mother’s smear campaigns until clearly the last couple of years. I have gone through forgiveness and understanding about the reality, which is very sad, but you can come through this certainly with a real view of yourself. So, just to say, distance works very well actually to bring clarity and a sound mind. In my case the distance was decided for me, I have an ignoring mother, not a smothering one, although I didn’t know it, it actually made it easier to be myself without the ‘curse’ of narcissism over my life every day. The paranoia only really occurs when people mess with your own sense of self, your own judgement etc. Abusers, apparently, create a co-dependency and control whereby your own thoughts are diminished. So independence, space, and lots of positive inspirational other people are the key, certainly I can speak from experience. Hope this helps. Bless you Sarah

    Liked by 1 person

    • You know, it’s funny you say that you had an “ignoring mother”. This got me thinking.
      I grew up in a home where both parents were deeply abusive in their own way and would play off each others abuse perfectly.
      My father was the explosive smothering one, whereas, my mother, like yours was also ignoring.
      Both types are infuriating!
      The distance was also decided, and I have to continually stay decided.
      I think an ignoring abuser can also be narcissistic as well because my mother pulled it off quite well. Unless I’m misinterpreting your words of course.
      I haven’t delved into the cause of the paranoia yet, I do know a lot of it was about everyone being after me. But you give me something to contemplate. I appreciate you reaching out.
      This is always a difficult journey for anyone left reeling from the grips of a psychopath.

      Like

  3. The first words spoken after Audrey’s name…..truly reflect her persona….”I am a survivor” he is one of the most intelligent, caring and compassionate person walking this planet of ours. She deserves all the peace, tranquility and love that anyone person can have bestowed upon them….I am rooting for her with all I have to give!

    Liked by 1 person

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