Racist Pig

Growing up in Utah had many downsides.
The first time in my life I saw an African American person was at 17, in high school. He moved to town and everyone stared…

We were fast friends and went to our senior homecoming dance together.

I just uncovered a bit more to this story that has me a bit steamed.

After talking with him, I found out that my dad thwarted his attempts to date me. Taking shots below the belt and in one private conversation my dad had with him, he made unmistakeable racist comments about it not looking good in the community for him to date a white girl.

This adds an infuriating piece to my puzzle about why he has never recognized my child as family. All this time I thought it must be because I chose to leave his religion.
The knowledge that he was so openly racist, turns my attention to the fact that my child is a mixed race.

I need something to punch right now….


6 thoughts on “Racist Pig

  1. I had no idea that your child was mixed race! Funny that I bumped into your post today out of all days, being pregnant with a mixed-race baby (fetus really)…I hear what you’re saying about your family…Coming from Scandinavia, I didn’t see very many people of any other ethnic background growing up and to this day my brother remains very racist and I just can’t..deal with him. And my mom’s homophobic (when I came out as Bi she went ballistic..) so I totally can relate to being so very different from your family. I wish you well and it would be nice to meet up one day if we were only closer to each other! I feel like I could learn a lot from you. Take good care xx


    • Yes he is mixed. This part is so funny to me. In my family, our genealogy revealed that we have a crapload of mixtures all scrambled together that makes us up- and not all of it is bone white. Russian, German, British, English, Dutch, Egyptian, Italian…throw some brown sugar in there….. The list of what I’m NOT mixed with is shorter.

      It’s safe to say I’m a mutt.
      Oh but, their “superior” blood should NEVER be mixed with mine! Right? Ugh gag me with a plastic fork!


      • Oh I know what you mean…! I’m unfortunately very not-mixed – my genealogy goes way back hundreds of years and all my ancestors were from same geographical area and probably married their cousins for all I know lol. How old is your child? Boy or girl? I’m sure I could find this out on the blog but sometimes it’s easier to ask! Are you with the father? May I ask which state you live in? Sorry for all the questions, you were right earlier on, we do seem to have a lot in common…! I’m in Florida and my husband is Jamaican but pretty American in the sense that he grew up here..


      • I have a little boy. He’s turning seven in just a few weeks. Not with the father anymore, he’s Puerto Rican. Father was a domestic violence situation I haven’t blogged about yet… Still getting to that.
        But my son is the love of my life, and ironically is quite literally saving my life as we speak. Without him, I could not qualify for the health insurance that is treating my brain tumor. He is also what I live for. So funny how my only love sprung from my only hate. I spent the entire pregnancy thinking I was carrying the spawn of the devil… Completely disconnected and looking at the pregnancy as a curse. If people could see how I look on him now. It’s pure love.

        I live in Arizona, and hate the heat, ugh. Can’t wait to move.
        Yes I think we absolutely have a lot in common! Wish we could meet…


      • Sorry just saw this now, I hope you didn’t think I was ignoring you! Oh wow, what a journey….You seem like a very strong and independent woman who somehow has all this strength to go through very difficult times (how do you do it?!?!) and I applaud your honesty and determination!

        I think I also hate this baby and as the termination is booked for Monday, I feel like I should just go through with it as it’s the only way I could get my old life back…Get back to my healing and my individual journey and all that, but then there is a small piece of me that kind of thinks it might be cool to just keep it and see how my life would change because of the baby…God, I don’t know. I have a day to decide and it’s agonizing.

        I thought Arizona was nice?? I’ve only heard good things about it. Miami is cool but it’s hard to make friends here and it can be a really lonely place..However, if you ever happen to have a reason to visit Florida, let me know! Would be awesome to meet!


      • Omg, I’m sorry it took me so long to get back to you.
        Yeah most of Arizona is beautiful but I’m in Phoenix, and during summer the heat gets up into the 120’s and we get humidity very bad here too so it’s unbearable.
        That’s why I can’t stand it.
        Plus the state politics, the govornment is pretty corrupt here with the sheriff (arpaio). He’s under federal investigation for human rights violations and all kinds if crap.
        But yeah.
        I am independent, I’ll give you that. I finally got angry. Part of my healing process. Ooooooh boy did I get mad! 😉 It felt good I think because I finally started to see what I was worth.
        Either that or I’m completely nutts. 🙂

        I think you are going to be just fine no matter what your choice will be. You have more strength than you know. It sounds to me like you want and need to go through with it and theres no wrong choice here. You have really thought this through responsibly, and weighed your options.
        At the end of the day, it’s you who is carrying the baby. It’s your choice.

        Why is it hard to make friends there? I would think there’s lots of people there . Are they rude there or something? If I ever end up out there you will be the first to know!!! 😉 I’d really love to meet you.


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