Dark waters

I’ve been floating in dark waters for a while.
Restricting. Listening to my own voice.
I have my own routine where every action equals a result. I learned how to get my desired results in the way I wanted, uninterrupted.

I don’t like being interrupted.
I stay away from things or people who interrupt my balance.
But it gets harder to maintain for a longer period of time.
So things got more rigid.
I have a lot of rules.
But I made a promise a long time ago to attend an event this weekend.

It seriously unraveled weeks of work for me!

In 2 days!

I’m in despair! I’m reeling! I’m skreeching! I’m aaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh!

I am paralyzed!

I don’t want to see the light of day for weeks!

I picked up a pen tonight and the image of jamming it into my neck flashed through my mind. It made me want to laugh and marvel!

I want to hide in my bed and not look at another skale until I see bone.

I found myself biting into something without even realizing it, barely able to regain composure before I ravaged my pantry. Next thing I’ll be eating in my sleep !!!

I want to strait jacket myself, lock me in a room til I’ve attoned for my follies today and yesterday.

My heart is heavy and the dark waters are stormy.

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4 thoughts on “Dark waters

  1. mayan calendar information just in case it helps you
    http://www.starroot.com/cgi/daycalc.pl
    5/31/2014
    Red Overtone Skywalker
    Green Central Castle of Enchantment
    Earth family- Signal Clan- Truth
    I empower in order to explore
    Commanding wakefullness
    I seal the output of space
    With the overtone tone of radiance
    I am guided by the power of birth

    Kin 213
    Harmonic 54: Galactic Output EXpress intelligence of integrity

    ‘With the overtone tone of radiance
    I am guided by the power of birth’

    “you are radiante like the sun shine of the sun it self and rays that magnify with the beauty of a thousand/ Underrated like sand thought of as tiny rocks/ feel the grass benathe your free not the carpet beneathe your socks/ remember the glory of the grass around them TOES
    Dont worry about Hoes or how they judge you/ Dont worry about BRO cause they dont LOVE you/ They dont really Love you, but Know you and the Wisdom that Grow from you and your womb as the tomb that blesses all life and space/
    Live life for your heart and heartspace
    Pace like the winds willow and till not to the mourning
    Drawn to the dawn of the Tree breath yes
    ease and breathe please cause like that show on tv with corkie

    “Baba Dee Baba Da LIFE GOES ONNNNNN OOOOOOH LALA DEE DA LIFE GOES ON!”

    Like

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